The Name Game

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For the last several months I have been contemplating what name to use "professionally" once I am married. It's a hard decision because I've been singing my songs and signing my work with my current name for so many years, and while the masses maybe aren't familiar with who I am or my name quite yet, I have certainly walked a lot of miles with this name of mine.

This struggle has come as a surprise to me, however. I have always thought that once I found that one special person, I would gladly give up my name to take his because a) I am pretty traditional on this issue, I suppose, and think it is an important symbol of family, unity and love, etc. and b) I've never been all that attached to my name to begin with. While it's served me well over the last 31 years, it's a very common, all-American kind of name, and there are plenty of others out there who share it.

But now here we are -- with lots of names to choose from (my nickname with his last name? my full name with his last name? first and middle? keep the maiden name?) and I am finding it all a bit overwhelming.

The most recent struggle with this issue came with the last project I worked on, an Off-Broadway show. For weeks I debated whether or not to use my current name or my future married name or some variation of both. I mean, what if this was IT?! My big break!? Then I would be locked into this name FOREVER! And was it weird or "bad luck" or something to begin using my married name without technically being married yet? I stressed over this for way too long. In the end, I decided to use my current, non-married name, because it just felt strange to change it so suddenly (and I couldn't make up my dang mind in the end).

But now there is another professional opportunity on the horizon so I am back to square one. I am thinking that since the Big Day is not so far away now, this might be the perfect time to break in the new name (which I *think* I've finally made a decision on --> the nickname I've always gone by plus his last -- the more I say it, the more I think it sounds like me).

This whole name change thing has been much harder than I anticipated. Perhaps it gets more difficult depending on factors like age and career progression? Or maybe the difficulty has more to do with the emotions involved in parting with that piece of yourself as opposed to "career logistics." For me it's been a combination of both plus a healthy dose of indecision.

Has anyone else struggled with this?