budgets & dreams & everything in between...

Before getting engaged, if someone were to ask me to describe my dream wedding reception, I probably would have said an outdoor garden party at night...me and my love outside on a brick terrace or patio behind someone's home, surrounded by all of our favorite people, twinkle lights everywhere, lanterns hanging from trees, dancing, laughing, eating, drinking, and love love love. {I'm sure I must have seen this scene in a movie at some point because the picture is quite specific!} In my mind, this little soiree is simple but classy, laid back but elegant. And cheap. Very, very cheap. I mean, how expensive could it be to get some twinkle lights and all your friends fed and happy?

When I saw Mamma Mia (the movie) for the first time it gave me a new image to swoon over (you know the scene -- the wedding reception at the end, where everyone is sitting out on a terrace perched high above the Mediterranean with candles and flowers everywhere...*sigh*...beautiful). It is similar to dream scenario 1 listed above, with the magical ambiance, flowing wine, and lots of laughter and love...and once again, cheap! I mean, that didn't look so extravagant, did it? (I obviously had no concept of what a realistic wedding budget was).

Those images were at the forefront of my mind as we set out looking for a venue site back in December. The price tags of many of the places we saw (just for the site alone with no extras!) shocked me. I started racking my brain, trying to think of any family members or friends who might have a house with a beautiful, spacious backyard and/or cliff on the ocean that they would want to provide for our special day :) But, alas, no names came to mind. And so I began to think that my dream wedding would not be possible.

Then we walked onto the property of the Farmer's Delight Plantation. The grounds were nothing like I imagined them to be (based on the name). This was my house with the beautiful backyard and terrace! These were the trees where lanterns and twinkle lights could hang. It felt intimate and homey, yet elegant and classy...everything I was looking for! This was IT!

To my amazement and relief, the price was right, too. I was going to get my dream wedding after all, and without going crazy over budget! There will probably even be money left over in the end, I thought to myself with a smile and little pat on the back. HA! Was I in for a rude awakening.

As plans began to take shape, and along with that the budget, I started realizing how unrealistic my budget expectations were. Everything began to snowball (as people warned me it might do, but I somehow thought we would be immune to that) and I suddenly felt like we had moved very far away from that 'simple' image I initially had in mind.

I still worry about that at times, but when we try to take certain aspects away in order to remedy the problem, there is really nothing that we can or want to change. The numbers are what they are. If "simple" means cutting out guests, then that is not an option because there are just too many lovely people in our lives that we want to share this day with. And if we want to create a magical setting for ourselves and our guests, with twinkle lights and flickering candles and flowing wine, then there is a cost for each candle and each candle holder and each bottle of wine, and each person pouring the wine, and SO ON and SO ON!! Every touch of magic comes with a price and those are the little things I wasn't *really* thinking about way back when.

Truthfully, I think that we really are keeping things relatively simple and intimate. The cost is something that we have had to come to terms with throughout the process, understanding that in order to achieve the kind of celebration that feels right for us, some hard earned pennies need to be sacrificed. Which is really hard. But this is only going to happen once, and we've both waited a long, long time for it, so we want to do it right!

And now that I have a more realistic understanding of wedding costs, I realize too that while those images in my head weren't exactly Ritz Carlton or Tavern on the Green extravagant, "simple elegance" comes at a cost, too! I am sure that both the wedding reception scene in Mamma Mia and the little backyard soiree in my head would probably both cost a pretty penny once you start factoring in all of the little details needed to create such a beautiful setting.

In the end, I am very happy with our choice and think it is going to be pure magic. I mean, look at this!


{source}

And we keep going back to what this is all about to regain perspective. This is about us celebrating the fact that we found each other (YAY!) and are committing our lives and hearts to one another. And that is a reason worth celebrating!

Anyone else out there struggling with the (harsh) reality of wedding budgets? Are you able to pull off your dream wedding anyway?