Deep Thoughts

Perhaps inspired by last night's Bachelorette: After the Final Rose (yes, I watched. don't judge me!) or host Chris Harrison's deep and ponderous questions for the broken-hearted rejected bachelors such as: how are you feeling right now? (pause) how about now? (pause) hey, remember that time you left the show broken-hearted and were crying in the limo? (pause) how did you feel about that? I began contemplating our impending nuptials and future together, thus crafting my own deep and ponderous questions. And so a conversation a little something like this followed:

Katie: hey, how are you feeling about the wedding? are you nervous?
Dan: no.
Katie: scared?
Dan: no.
Katie: what about future stuff...like having kids. doesn't that scare you a little?
Dan: no.
Katie: does anything scare you?
Dan: (pause) snakes.

a few of my favorite things....

Throughout this crazy little thing called "wedding planning" many (many) choices have been made, which sometimes makes my head spin, but mostly feels quite satisfying for this indecisive bride-to-be.

I want to take a moment to share with you some of my favorite details of the process thus far. I take joy in the little things so these are not necessarily the BIG line items...

The girls' dresses:

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love. these. Easy, clean lines, flattering, comfy. YAY.

Our accent color:


Oh man, do I love the color red. I knew all along that I wanted to do black bridesmaids dresses, but had no idea what color to pair with that. I thought about doing bouquets of brightly colored wild flowers, something that would really pop against the black, but as I started flipping through magazines and googling flowers, the only ones that really jumped out at me were red flowers, and among all of the red flowers I favored (by far) Black Magic Roses. And since Dan and I both love deep, rich shades of red it was easily decided that we would base the rest of the event off of that. And so the color red will be making special appearances in things like our invitations, the programs, the table cloths and all of the centerpieces (which will be a combination of low boxes filled with black magic roses and berries and tall trumpet vases filled with red orchids and curly willow). It may sound like a bit much but mixed in with everything else we are doing it looks dreamy, I assure you :) YAY red!

This song:


This has somehow become 'our song' and whenever I hear it my heart swells with love for my husband-to-be and excitement for the beautiful life I know we are going to have together. It has been present at many of the important moments in our relationship (at our one year anniversary, and on the night he proposed in London), so it only makes sense that we should incorporate it into this special event as well. We are either going to have our first dance to it or I will walk down the aisle to strings playing it. Either way will be magical...we are just trying to figure out which one feels more like "us".

And there you have it...a few of my favorite things :)

budgets & dreams & everything in between...

Before getting engaged, if someone were to ask me to describe my dream wedding reception, I probably would have said an outdoor garden party at night...me and my love outside on a brick terrace or patio behind someone's home, surrounded by all of our favorite people, twinkle lights everywhere, lanterns hanging from trees, dancing, laughing, eating, drinking, and love love love. {I'm sure I must have seen this scene in a movie at some point because the picture is quite specific!} In my mind, this little soiree is simple but classy, laid back but elegant. And cheap. Very, very cheap. I mean, how expensive could it be to get some twinkle lights and all your friends fed and happy?

When I saw Mamma Mia (the movie) for the first time it gave me a new image to swoon over (you know the scene -- the wedding reception at the end, where everyone is sitting out on a terrace perched high above the Mediterranean with candles and flowers everywhere...*sigh*...beautiful). It is similar to dream scenario 1 listed above, with the magical ambiance, flowing wine, and lots of laughter and love...and once again, cheap! I mean, that didn't look so extravagant, did it? (I obviously had no concept of what a realistic wedding budget was).

Those images were at the forefront of my mind as we set out looking for a venue site back in December. The price tags of many of the places we saw (just for the site alone with no extras!) shocked me. I started racking my brain, trying to think of any family members or friends who might have a house with a beautiful, spacious backyard and/or cliff on the ocean that they would want to provide for our special day :) But, alas, no names came to mind. And so I began to think that my dream wedding would not be possible.

Then we walked onto the property of the Farmer's Delight Plantation. The grounds were nothing like I imagined them to be (based on the name). This was my house with the beautiful backyard and terrace! These were the trees where lanterns and twinkle lights could hang. It felt intimate and homey, yet elegant and classy...everything I was looking for! This was IT!

To my amazement and relief, the price was right, too. I was going to get my dream wedding after all, and without going crazy over budget! There will probably even be money left over in the end, I thought to myself with a smile and little pat on the back. HA! Was I in for a rude awakening.

As plans began to take shape, and along with that the budget, I started realizing how unrealistic my budget expectations were. Everything began to snowball (as people warned me it might do, but I somehow thought we would be immune to that) and I suddenly felt like we had moved very far away from that 'simple' image I initially had in mind.

I still worry about that at times, but when we try to take certain aspects away in order to remedy the problem, there is really nothing that we can or want to change. The numbers are what they are. If "simple" means cutting out guests, then that is not an option because there are just too many lovely people in our lives that we want to share this day with. And if we want to create a magical setting for ourselves and our guests, with twinkle lights and flickering candles and flowing wine, then there is a cost for each candle and each candle holder and each bottle of wine, and each person pouring the wine, and SO ON and SO ON!! Every touch of magic comes with a price and those are the little things I wasn't *really* thinking about way back when.

Truthfully, I think that we really are keeping things relatively simple and intimate. The cost is something that we have had to come to terms with throughout the process, understanding that in order to achieve the kind of celebration that feels right for us, some hard earned pennies need to be sacrificed. Which is really hard. But this is only going to happen once, and we've both waited a long, long time for it, so we want to do it right!

And now that I have a more realistic understanding of wedding costs, I realize too that while those images in my head weren't exactly Ritz Carlton or Tavern on the Green extravagant, "simple elegance" comes at a cost, too! I am sure that both the wedding reception scene in Mamma Mia and the little backyard soiree in my head would probably both cost a pretty penny once you start factoring in all of the little details needed to create such a beautiful setting.

In the end, I am very happy with our choice and think it is going to be pure magic. I mean, look at this!


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And we keep going back to what this is all about to regain perspective. This is about us celebrating the fact that we found each other (YAY!) and are committing our lives and hearts to one another. And that is a reason worth celebrating!

Anyone else out there struggling with the (harsh) reality of wedding budgets? Are you able to pull off your dream wedding anyway?

Freedom!

It was big day today, people. We are officially free! Our DIY wedding invitations that have been taking over our lives (and living room) for the last several weeks are officially out of our hands.

We woke up this morning bright and early (not our strong suit, especially after yet another late night of invitation assemblage) and took a shopping full of invitations down to the Post Office before work. After weighing a stack just to be *sure* we had the right postage and that nothing would be returned to us, we headed over to the mail slot and released our little labors of love, watching them slide down the chute and out of our hands for good! As silly as it sounds, and as burdensome as they've been, I felt a twinge of sadness watching them slide away. All that work, all that time! My babies! The sadness was mixed with a bit of nervousness as well. Will people like them? Did we do everything right? Will some crazed mailman go postal on them? Spill coffee on them? FORGET to deliver them?!?! Once we walked away, however, the sadness and nerves quickly dissolved into lots of relief and a bit of giddiness at the realization of what this meant. We. are. getting. MARRIED! Like, SERIOUSLY getting married...!! We've told all of our friends, but now 150 people will be getting the news in writing. It's official and there's no stopping it now. Ack! (that's a good 'ack' :)

If I had a my camera cord with me at work I would download and post the picture of us putting the last of the invites into the mail slot...but I do not. So the pictures will have to wait -- but I DO plan on posting a full-on invitation story here, complete with pictures and DIY goodies...coming soon :)

Envelope Etiquette

I've run into more etiquette questions/issues with the invitations (specifically, the outer envelopes) than anything else so far. Since I am probably not the only one who doesn't have these rules memorized, I thought I'd share my findings on here:

1) 'and' vs. ampersand (as in Mr. and Mrs. John Smith vs. Mr. & Mrs. John Smith)? Writing out 'and' wins. Sucks for us since we've already printed 60 envelopes with '&'!

2) Separated or divorced guests? One of our guests is recently separated from her husband and with such a delicate situation, we didn't know whether or not to use Mrs., Ms. or her maiden name on the invitation. Since I couldn't find any hard and fast rule for this one, I decided to just ask her what she prefers. She opted for Ms. (first) (married name). I think if you are close enough to the person, asking their preference is the way to go.

3) printing vs. calligraphy? Of course calligraphy (or addressing the envelopes yourself) still wins, but we decided to throw this rule out the window due to time constraints and lack of extra $ to hire a calligrapher. Plus, I think the last 5 or 6 wedding invitations I've gotten in the mail were printed, and I didn't even think about it, so I'm hoping no one will notice!

4) If printing addresses on the envelope, should the font match the font used on the invitation or be some sort of formal script font? I found contradicting opinions on this but since there were a few posts/articles stating that it was acceptable to use the same font on the outer envelopes that was used for the invitation, we decided to go with that -- it looked better for the style and feel of our particular invitations.

5) Street vs. St./Apartment vs. Apt., etc.? This rule is pretty clear cut, always write out the words--> Street, Avenue, Apartment, etc.

In the end, we have decided to just breathe and do the best we can because there are too many rules to keep up with! We want to be respectful of our guests first and foremost -- and upon receiving their invitation in the mail, I really hope that they will just feel excited about sharing in our special day rather than focusing in on the fact that we printed out their address or slipped in an '&' instead of an 'and'!

Were there any invitation etiquette rules you decided to throw out? Did you experience any backlash from family or friends as a result?

The Guest Book

When I was a kid there was nothing I loved more in school than making books. I had a 3rd grade teacher who was really big on bookmaking and showed us all the tricks, always encouraging us to be as creative as we could -- my dog, my family, and trips to the moon were among some of my favorite writing topics. She even showed us how to make a cover out of cardboard and wallpaper scraps, and then would get volunteer moms to come in and sew the pages and cover together, just like a REAL BOOK! Oh man, I loved that feeling of getting my book back and flipping through it, all professional and polished looking!

My love of bookmaking didn't stop there. I found myself, as an art major in college, drawn to bookmaking, incorporating it into my final projects whenever I could. Even better if I could give it pockets and flaps and secret nooky places to hide messages. My most recent book project was a one year anniversary gift for Dan, complete with pictures, emails and little mementos, all telling the Story of Us. And of course it had pockets and flaps and little secret nooks :)

SO...all that to say...when I read this post I was absolutely beside myself with excitement and delight! A GUEST BOOK with POCKETS where guests can slip in their little NOTES! Oh. my. gosh. How did I not know about this or think of it myself?!


{1. source, 2. source}

And I love her idea of using photographs as well, which is something I was considering anyway as a way of incorporating our engagement photos. It is probably a lofty goal to try and actually *make* the book myself, binding and all, but I am thinking a nice large photo album with a hand-made feel...something like this:


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or this:


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...with blank pages where I can add the little envelopes, and then affix the photographs, perhaps with photo tabs which would give it a clean, elegant look.

I love the thought of Dan and I sitting next to each other in 50 years, holding in our laps this beautiful, artistic, chunky guest book full of pockets and pictures and little hidden cards with words from our friends and family from our special day. That thought makes me happy :)

Are there any other guest book ideas out there?

The Getaway Dress

***
Are you the one?

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...the one I will wear as I run through a sea of sparklers and smiles, tucked under the arm of my new husband as the sound of laughter and cheers swell around us, the cool night air fizzing with excitement and joy, each of us knowing that we have just encountered something extraordinary...something grand...something that's beginning to look and feel like it could be, perhaps, the Best Night Ever...??? Could you be that one? (no pressure)...

I know the getaway dress is a somewhat fading tradition, and I only recently began contemplating it myself. It makes sense for me though, since we are doing the traditional leave-at-the-end-of-the-night-not-to-lay-eyes-on-any-of-you-again-til-AFTER-the-honeymoon deal. If we left in our wedding clothes, that would mean figuring out what to do with them since we don't plan on packing them for the honeymoon (although...wearing my wedding gown while sipping cocktails on the beach does sound pretty dreamy). My mom was the one who first suggested the getaway outfit idea and as soon as she did my mind immediately conjured up beautiful images of vintage Jackie O style suits and dresses --->


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I tried on the BCBG dress above (first one pictured) the other night at Bloomingdale's and fell a little bit in love. But the price-tag and lack of audience for feedback and moral support stopped me. Plus we are still over 2 months out and so I feel like I should wait a little bit longer before committing to this choice.

What are your thoughts on the getaway dress?

Buy Handmade!

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With more and more wedding ideas and projects taking shape (and with that more and more $$ being spent on various items), I've been thinking quite a bit about this idea of supporting the arts and buying handmade -- a worthy cause that I'll admit I sometimes neglect to support despite my close ties, appreciation and convictions.

It is no surprise that in this economy, artists are taking a huge hit. And yet, here I am, planning a wedding, needing to be a consumer of the very products many artists out there are making/selling! It may not be a realistic goal to say that I will "Go Handmade" 100% throughout this process, but I *can* take small steps in supporting artists by turning to them for things like paper needs, jewelry, bridal party gifts, etc.

I'll be the first to admit that sometimes it is just easier and more convenient to head to a mega-store or mall or the internet (thereby eliminating interaction with real people completely), especially when there is a long list of purchases to knock out. But isn't it sometimes nice to know the PERSON behind the product? And with something so intimate and special as a wedding, it seems even more appropriate to have a name, face and voice on the other side of those "investments" rather than some mass-produced item -- real people with stories of their own, struggles and joys and a REAL LIFE unfolding around them as they make their art.

Here is a sampling of some of the cool, wedding-related handmade stuff I've found lately:

Designs By Portobello
Inky Livie
Veiled Beauty
Jilly Designs

And I recently stumbled upon this site , which is an entire blog dedicated to fun and different Etsy wedding finds. It is here that I discovered it is possible to REGISTER with Etsy! How cool is that?!

And while I'm throwing links your way, here's one more to check out:
Etsy: The Storque: Handmade Weddings

Of course, this doesn't just apply to wedding planning -- it has brought up an interesting question for me personally in my everyday life: why don't I support artists and Buy Handmade more often? I want to be more aware of this fact and challenge myself to more often turn to a site like Etsy before heading to a store like Target (and OH, how I love Target!) when it comes to artwork, household items, clothing, etc.

I am curious to know if anyone out there has attempted to plan an ALL HANDMADE wedding? Please share your stories and thoughts :)

a sneak peak...

...of our engagement photos! (just to tide you over :) more photos will be posted soon!

We were thrilled when we found out that our photographer was throwing in a free engagement photo shoot along with our wedding package. Since our wedding will take place outdoors in the countryside of Virginia, we decided that we wanted the engagement shoot to be in a more urban setting and quickly settled on the cobblestone streets and quaint city-scape of beautiful downtown Georgetown as our backdrop.

We met up with our photographer Kevin and our a-m-a-z-i-n-g wedding planners (who recommended Kevin to us) last Saturday evening...{LAST Saturday evening...as in ONE week ago...and we already have the pictures in hand! How great is that?!}. Anyway, the weather was absolutely perfect and Kevin made us feel so comfortable and at ease in front of the camera, so it ended up being a delightful and fun-filled evening.

And we really couldn't be happier with the outcome. There are SO MANY beautiful and creative shots, it is impossible to pick just one (or two or three) favorites! Now we need to decide what to do with all these beautiful pictures. Right now we are thinking about using them to create a wedding-day guest book (I've seen some examples of this that look really amazing...more on that later!)

What do you plan to do with your engagement photos?

{okay, I can't resist....just one more!} --->

The Name Game

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For the last several months I have been contemplating what name to use "professionally" once I am married. It's a hard decision because I've been singing my songs and signing my work with my current name for so many years, and while the masses maybe aren't familiar with who I am or my name quite yet, I have certainly walked a lot of miles with this name of mine.

This struggle has come as a surprise to me, however. I have always thought that once I found that one special person, I would gladly give up my name to take his because a) I am pretty traditional on this issue, I suppose, and think it is an important symbol of family, unity and love, etc. and b) I've never been all that attached to my name to begin with. While it's served me well over the last 31 years, it's a very common, all-American kind of name, and there are plenty of others out there who share it.

But now here we are -- with lots of names to choose from (my nickname with his last name? my full name with his last name? first and middle? keep the maiden name?) and I am finding it all a bit overwhelming.

The most recent struggle with this issue came with the last project I worked on, an Off-Broadway show. For weeks I debated whether or not to use my current name or my future married name or some variation of both. I mean, what if this was IT?! My big break!? Then I would be locked into this name FOREVER! And was it weird or "bad luck" or something to begin using my married name without technically being married yet? I stressed over this for way too long. In the end, I decided to use my current, non-married name, because it just felt strange to change it so suddenly (and I couldn't make up my dang mind in the end).

But now there is another professional opportunity on the horizon so I am back to square one. I am thinking that since the Big Day is not so far away now, this might be the perfect time to break in the new name (which I *think* I've finally made a decision on --> the nickname I've always gone by plus his last -- the more I say it, the more I think it sounds like me).

This whole name change thing has been much harder than I anticipated. Perhaps it gets more difficult depending on factors like age and career progression? Or maybe the difficulty has more to do with the emotions involved in parting with that piece of yourself as opposed to "career logistics." For me it's been a combination of both plus a healthy dose of indecision.

Has anyone else struggled with this?